62. At least you were thrown clear, I’m still stuck in here....

You’re flat on your face in a field 50 feet from a burning Cadillac
At least you were thrown clear, I’m still stuck in here
Kick off my shoes I let the flames crawl up and burn right through me
I'm silent as a movie, I always thought you knew me better

At least you were thrown clear
I’m still stuck in here
At least you were thrown clear
At least you were thrown clear
I’m still stuck in here
And I’m still stuck

And now you are hurt, and you are sure I could not be hurt too
And just because you’re bleeding you think that I’m not bleeding
And just because you’re full of yourself doesn’t mean I’m not full of you

At least you were thrown clear
I’m still stuck in here
At least you were thrown clear
At least you were thrown clear
I’m still stuck in here
And I’m still stuck

And so we burn silently
Silent nights silent days
And so we burn silently
It just seems wrong

At least you were thrown clear
At least you were thrown clear
At least you were thrown

These are the lyrics to a song called Car Crash by the band Wakey!Wakey! 

They don’t describe exactly what happened in a dream I had yesterday during a nap, but somewhat. I dreamt that I was in car with someone and they lost control of the car and we went over the side of the overpass we were on and went straight into plunging in the lake or large body of water below us.

That was just a nap. That dream caused me not to be able to get to sleep until just after 4am because I was scared. Why? I don’t know. I looked up some possibly meanings of this dream.

To dream of being in a crash or something crashing around you implies that you have finally been able to overcome an obstacle or hardship. It may also symbolize anxieties you have regarding becoming the victim of an accident. To dream of a car accident symbolizes your emotional state. You may be harboring deep anxieties and fears. Are you "driving" yourself too hard? Perhaps you need to slow down before you hit disaster. You need to rethink or re-plan your course of actions and set yourself on a better path. 

For me, I think it’s closer to the second one. Am I driving myself too hard? Do I need to slow down and rethink what I’m doing? Maybe. I do have some deep anxieties and fears. Some of them I haven’t been able to admit to anyone but myself. Hopefully soon though. I haven’t found someone yet that I can be that close to. I hope you do. I hope any of you out there can find someone or have found someone that you can tell your deepest fears and anxieties. It will help.

Or tell them here. If you really just want somewhere to say it. Say it here. I'll start. 

One of my deepest fears is that I am a failure and that because of that I will disappoint my friends and family, not be able to help my family ever get on their feet properly again, and then not be around when any of my closest family members pass away.

61. Nails, Nails, and More Nails!!!

Hello everyone, how were your holidays?

I for one, took a break from blogging. I've been going through some things with my family. They are having a pretty hard time right now and its a lot to deal with plus the fact that I have to go back to school in a week. I hope those of you out there who have grown up with a lot never have to feel what it feels like to have to choose which bills to pay on time and how it feels to have your only means of transportation taken away in the middle of a snowstorm.

Now on to the point of this blog post. I want to share with you a little something going on over at laceandlaquers.com. there is an AMAZING Nail Polish Giveaway happening right now. It is huge!! And you have so many chances to enter and win.

Click Here to head on over and enter.

Blogging about gets you ten more entries in the contest, hence this one.

Nail polish for me has become really big recently. I dont know what it is. its just a really easy way to show a little bit more style in me since that is kind of hard in my life. And its pretty easy if you ask me.

Here's a pic of what is on my nails right now. I have to fix my thumb but that just means I get to use more nail polish :D