44. Missing You Already

November 3^rd – Today me and my mom dropped the older of my two younger sisters back off at her dorm and then we went to my grandmas to have lunch. I thought it might be awkward but it was actually kind of nice. Yes I had to see all of my grandpa’s stuff and the pictures from his funeral, but to be able to spend time with my grandma and not see her emotion all that much was nice. She also showed me a couple of pictures from the day before he passed away. Although I didn’t say it to anyone, it was really hard to see them. He looked so beaten up and hurting that I wished I could have been there. Then I thought that it was probably better that way so that my last memory of actually seeing him was when he was happy and healthy at my sister’s graduation party and no big problems were noticeable.

43. Till We Meet Again

November 2^nd – Not much for today. Today was the funeral for my grandfather. It was really hard to see my grandma and my mother get so emotional. Even my little brother who I held during the service said his eyes were watering and I just didn’t know what to do. There were so many people that I didn’t know but just knowing that they all knew my grandpa and were able to come was amazing. I didn’t realize how stressful this all was until I got home. I ended up going to bed at 7:30 that night before anyone else was awake. Besides my mother, I am probably the one in my family that gets the most emotional, but today, I actually cried the least because I think I was trying to stay strong for my mother and my grandma. I felt so vulnerable that I didn’t want others to try and ask me if I was okay. I guess I just wanted to stay in my bubble.

42. Im Going Home To The Place Where I Belong

November 1^st – Today I headed home. It was really weird to leave school for something other than a break but I needed it. During the day I focused on getting thing packed and talking with professors about why I was leaving. I was having a really hard time figuring out what I need to bring home and what I was going to leave behind while I was there because I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate at home. It made me see that sometimes with directing, you don’t really know how something is going to turn out until you actually experience it and have to prepare for what comes afterwards. This was the first time ever that I experienced a death so close to me and I just couldn’t get over the fact that I couldn’t figure out what to do with myself even though all I had to do was throw some clothes in a suitcase. Right before I left to take the bus downtown, I went to gospel choir rehearsal and the touring ensemble held a prayer circle for me and another member who had lost her grandfather while on tour. It was really helpful. It was nice to know that despite these people not being family and possibly not know how I’m feeling, to be able to say the exact right things I needed to hear. I have faith that it was God. I don’t know who else could have helped this much. He’s just one big director knowing how to put pieces of a life back together once ones world has been turned upside down.

41. You Dont Know What You've Got Till It's Gone

October 30^th – Today was one of the longest days I have experienced in a long time. It was tech weekend for Hideous Progeny which was to be expected but I did not expect what actually happened today. A couple of weeks ago I found out my grandfather was getting put into a home because of his Alzheimer’s. A couple of days ago I found out that he was being put in hospice. My mom told me it could be months or it could be weeks before he would go and I was okay with that. This morning around 6:45am I got a call from my dad. He told that as of 6:15am my grandfather had passed away. I didn’t really react I said okay and said goodbye and I love you. For the next hour and a half I didn’t do anything. I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling. My entire world had been thrown of balance and I didn’t know what to do. Finally I got up, did some laundry, took a shower, and went to tech, where I then preceded to tell people. I kept getting asked if I needed to go back to my dorm but I knew that the theatre and theatre people were the closest thing I had to family has that moment. This also caused me to rethink going home for the funeral. I didn’t want to miss dress rehearsals because I had made a commitment to people I cared about. I then realized after dinner when something that I was doing wasn’t working out too well that I need to go home. I realized while sitting outside in the rain for twenty minutes bawling my eyes out because I didn’t know what to do with myself and I didn’t know how to let people in on that. I was afraid to ask for help and I didn’t know where to go.

40. I Could Party All Night Long

Pictures from a very much needed welcome back party:

 

Seairra

39. The Thing That Keeps Me And Most Of Us Winners Going

SLEEP

Seairra

38. The Result Of A Very Rainy Week In Chicago

Seairra

37. I Will Pay You For My Haircut Cassy, I Promise!!

This nice new haircut was done by my friend Cassy Swain who had to move back to Texas. Like in the title, I will pay you for this wonderful job, I just gotta get the money first girl. Miss you!!

Seairra

36. Im Not Distrac--Oh Look, A Squirrel. No really, Look.

Nuff Said. That is a winning squirrel. Feeding off us college students scraps.

Seairra

35. Red and Green

I helped paint that wall and that floor for a show called Red and Green. It was directed by our theatre director here at North Park University, Mr. Chad Eric Bergman and it was amazing.

Seairra

34. Oh What A Beautiful Morning

This is the view out of the top window that I see while working after sunrise. Pretty isnt it?

Seairra

33. The Purple Piano Project ( GLEE :D )

So I was searching around today and found this:

Glee will be back on September 20th!! I dont know about you all, but I love glee so much and I am so excited to see it coming back. Yay!!

Seairra

32. The Bus Is Supposed To Be Here Now. Oh Wait, Thats Just The Time They Sent Me The Text

Sunday night I went out with my friend carol to see Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind. If you dont know what that is, well then, find out yourself :) It was amazing show. We had to take the bus to get there and we ended up waiting about 15 mins for one, but the plus side was this:

It was a great day weather wise and this just sums it all up. Amazing.

Seairra

31. Expelliarmus

I was waiting to get into my friends apartment building when I saw these kids across the street. No they probably dont know I took the picture, but its so cute :)

I think they were sword fighting or casting spells with these little sticks. It was great.

Seairra

30. Life is a frail moth flying, Caught in the web of the years that pass

This one is short and sweet and pretty.

Seairra

PS - told you.

29. As everybody knows, Africa is a big country.

Yes I know that Africa is a continent, that title is just a quote from one of the best shows ever in the whole world: Whose Line Is It Anyway.

Whose Line is just one of those shows to where if you're having a really bad day or a really good day or you don't want to do homework or you are trying to go to bed, you are gonna get a very good laugh no matter what episode you are watching.

Seairra

28. Foster Ave At Night

I work late nights/early mornings and even if Im not work, Im usually up past one at which point Im really bored and just wanting to do anything that will help me get to sleep. So I took this picture and it turned out really cool.

This bus stop is right below my window. It gets rather annoying during the day when the bus comes every 15 or so minutes and people like to have loud conversations while walking the street about god knows what. But at night, theres about one car every fifteen minutes or so and its just really almost calming sounds of the distant city and the wind.

Seairra

27. Without Nilla wafers it's just another one of your wretched culinary abortions

When I finally got moved into my new room this year this past weekend, after we were done, my mom and my sisters went shopping for missing supplies and some snacks. I decided I really wanted Nilla wafers because they are winning and I liked them. they were the mini kind which I believe is what made them last longer. As I was eating them I came across several of these:

The picture quality is rather, well, not good, but that is two mini Nilla wafers stuck together. kinda looks like an amoeba. I found at least six of these in the entire box. Maybe the nilla wafers wanted to make a baby so they started replicating.

Seairra

26. I'm a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics.

First week of classes and work has been crazy and jsut now getting the time to update this thing. This week has definitely made me feel really good. Ive been working a lot already, getting my homework done, hanging with my friends, and Im not dying!! Anyways, I was sitting sometime this past week when this showed up at the desk:

Its a cars kleenex box. Yes, yes its just kleenex, but its car and I was tired at the time and this cheered me up a lot.


Seairra

25. This time I’m not leaving without you.

So this summer my love for Lady Gaga's music has grown exponentially.

This is a pic from her new music video for "You and I." I love this song. Its amazing, its winning, and just, you need to listen to it. That is all.

Seairra

24. Missing Sleep To Make Monies

So early this morning I had my first desk sitting shift at Sohlberg.

This is the view from where I sit. They just remodeled this summer so the desk area is super nice. I worked from 1am to 7am. I made a large cup of coffee and brought movies to pass the time. I ended up watching Because I Said So, Mean Girls, and Water for Elephants. Then I sat for the last hour waiting for the next person to come so I could go to the bathroom and then finally sleep. When I did get to sleep I was woken up like an hour and a half later to the sounds of people pounding like there's no tomorrow fixing something in the lounge before me. Not winning.

Seairra

23. Chocolate, men, coffee – some things are better rich.

Thank you http://www.coolnsmart.com/coffee_quotes/ for my blog post title today. During move in on Saturday the younger of my two younger sisters accidentally broke my coffee pot. So that night and went to Starbucks and got this:

 

Its Starbucks VIA ReadyBrew Coffeemaker thingy. You put water up to where you want it in the clear compartment, put your VIA in the mug, put the mug in place, and then turn it on and presto, I get coffee. I used it last night for the first time to make a mug of coffee so that I stayed awake during my first 1am-7am desk shift at Sohlberg which means monies for me. Yay. More about that in the next post.

Seairra

22. Do You Believe In Magic?

So before I cam I bought this starter kit to this card game my friend Carol taught before the school year ended last year:

Its called Magic The Gathering. Yes its a nerdy game. I don't plan on becoming one of those people that collect all the cards and play tournaments every week but I just like playing it to have fun. So suck it (Just Kidding :D)

Seairra