65. I'm Gonna Lift Him Up, Higher And Higher

Good Afternoon everyone. I'm writing this as I sit in Starbucks enjoying the rainy but beautiful day God has planned for me today.

Today's devotional is centered around trusting Jesus in every detail of your life. "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him." - Jeremiah 17:7. 

The rest of this semester and my life is definitely a situation where I need to play my trust in Him. Lately, I've been worried about all these little things that have to happen and the choices I have made. Did I do the right thing taking a show off in the theatre? How am I going to write this 20 page screenplay when I have all these other things happening in my life?

I've realized the past few days and weeks that God is the only one that I can count on for forever and that I truly do need to trust in Him and instead of analyzing why certain things happen in my life.

Today also mentions how while we were still living in darkness, God was already working to shine a light and bring us out. This is so true. I am so thankful and grateful for how God has helped me through some tough times, even though I might not have seen it at the moment.

I'll leave you today with a prayer, some verses, and a song.

God - Blessed are you and this day that you have made. Thank you for all the ways you have shown yourself to me. Continue to guide and help me with your Light. You are the way maker. Amen.

Verses: Romans 8:28, Psalm 40:2, and 1 Peter 2:9

64. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever

Good Afternoon Everyone,

So while I was on tour I was introduced to this devotional book called Jesus Calling. So far, I have absolutely loved it. Especially today. The first couple of sentences for today say this:

This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in My Presence, where you are complete.

How amazing is that? It's so true. When I got back from tour I had some time to meditate with God and I realized that to get back some order in my life and to be able to reconnect with God that I needed to pull back from my theatre life. It was such a tough decision but I can see that it will be good in the long run. I have been so caught up in theatre and so involved in it that I haven't been able to connect with God in such a long time. I am so ready to feel the warmth of His secure embrace again.

Let me leave you with some kind words and some verses. The words: if you are struggling with something, take some time with God and let him light the way. Know that He will guide you in the correct way and will be there to guide you always.

The Verses: Psalm 89:15, Hebrews 13:8, and Isaiah 41:13.

Peace,
Seairra

63. Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow, Praise Him All Creatures Here Below....

Hey everyone :D

I'm back on here. I know I started this over a year ago in pursuit of finding true happiness within me and the world and wanting to do a post everyday, but God just wanted me to hold out and I would get back to a good place. And I think I am. A week ago I got back from California where I went on tour in the Bay Area with my schools( North Park) gospel choir. God moved within me so deeply during that tour. I realized that I had really truly missed faith in my life. I go to a Christian university and I call myself a Christian but this tour and God helped me see that I was ready to put God first in my life again. God has helped me so much that I wasn't able to see it until this trip. To those who have heard this from me already, maybe I seem overly enthusiastic about this, but I'm not. I am so in love with God and so excited to be able to fully embrace him. Now I'm rambling, but hey, its in my blog title. I want leave everyone with a video that is of one entire concert we did on tour. This was also the night that everything shifted for me, so I hope it blesses you too. Enjoy.

62. At least you were thrown clear, I’m still stuck in here....

You’re flat on your face in a field 50 feet from a burning Cadillac
At least you were thrown clear, I’m still stuck in here
Kick off my shoes I let the flames crawl up and burn right through me
I'm silent as a movie, I always thought you knew me better

At least you were thrown clear
I’m still stuck in here
At least you were thrown clear
At least you were thrown clear
I’m still stuck in here
And I’m still stuck

And now you are hurt, and you are sure I could not be hurt too
And just because you’re bleeding you think that I’m not bleeding
And just because you’re full of yourself doesn’t mean I’m not full of you

At least you were thrown clear
I’m still stuck in here
At least you were thrown clear
At least you were thrown clear
I’m still stuck in here
And I’m still stuck

And so we burn silently
Silent nights silent days
And so we burn silently
It just seems wrong

At least you were thrown clear
At least you were thrown clear
At least you were thrown

These are the lyrics to a song called Car Crash by the band Wakey!Wakey! 

They don’t describe exactly what happened in a dream I had yesterday during a nap, but somewhat. I dreamt that I was in car with someone and they lost control of the car and we went over the side of the overpass we were on and went straight into plunging in the lake or large body of water below us.

That was just a nap. That dream caused me not to be able to get to sleep until just after 4am because I was scared. Why? I don’t know. I looked up some possibly meanings of this dream.

To dream of being in a crash or something crashing around you implies that you have finally been able to overcome an obstacle or hardship. It may also symbolize anxieties you have regarding becoming the victim of an accident. To dream of a car accident symbolizes your emotional state. You may be harboring deep anxieties and fears. Are you "driving" yourself too hard? Perhaps you need to slow down before you hit disaster. You need to rethink or re-plan your course of actions and set yourself on a better path. 

For me, I think it’s closer to the second one. Am I driving myself too hard? Do I need to slow down and rethink what I’m doing? Maybe. I do have some deep anxieties and fears. Some of them I haven’t been able to admit to anyone but myself. Hopefully soon though. I haven’t found someone yet that I can be that close to. I hope you do. I hope any of you out there can find someone or have found someone that you can tell your deepest fears and anxieties. It will help.

Or tell them here. If you really just want somewhere to say it. Say it here. I'll start. 

One of my deepest fears is that I am a failure and that because of that I will disappoint my friends and family, not be able to help my family ever get on their feet properly again, and then not be around when any of my closest family members pass away.

61. Nails, Nails, and More Nails!!!

Hello everyone, how were your holidays?

I for one, took a break from blogging. I've been going through some things with my family. They are having a pretty hard time right now and its a lot to deal with plus the fact that I have to go back to school in a week. I hope those of you out there who have grown up with a lot never have to feel what it feels like to have to choose which bills to pay on time and how it feels to have your only means of transportation taken away in the middle of a snowstorm.

Now on to the point of this blog post. I want to share with you a little something going on over at laceandlaquers.com. there is an AMAZING Nail Polish Giveaway happening right now. It is huge!! And you have so many chances to enter and win.

Click Here to head on over and enter.

Blogging about gets you ten more entries in the contest, hence this one.

Nail polish for me has become really big recently. I dont know what it is. its just a really easy way to show a little bit more style in me since that is kind of hard in my life. And its pretty easy if you ask me.

Here's a pic of what is on my nails right now. I have to fix my thumb but that just means I get to use more nail polish :D

60. When you're dreaming with a broken heart....The waking up is the hardest part

This post is dedicated to those who lost their lives yesterday. It was tragedy and a massacre and horrible and should ever happen again.I have no idea what the families are going through but when I think about the possibility of losing anyone of my siblings, I cant fathom it. I cant fathom losing anyone one of my closest family members again. I still miss my grandfather everyday, I cant imagine my parent or sibling.

The following is a list of those lost:

Children

Charlotte Bacon, age 6

Daniel Barden, age 7

Olivia Engel, age 6

Josephine Gay, age 7

Ana M Marquez-Greene, age 6

Dylan Hockley, age 6

Madeleine F Hsu, age 6

Catherine V Hubbard, age 6

Chase Kowalski , age 7

Jesse Lewis, age 6

James Mattioli, age 6

Grace McDonnell, age 7

Emilie Parker, age 6

Jack Pinto, age 6

Noah Pozner, age 6

Caroline Previdi, age 6

Jessica Rekos, age 6

Avielle Richman, age 6

Benjamin Wheeler, age 6

Allison N Wyatt, age 6

Adults

Rachel Davino, age 29

Dawn Hochsprung, age 47

Anne Marie Murphy, age 52

Lauren Rousseau, age 30

Mary Sherlach, age 56

Victoria Soto, age 27

It's so easy to say, "My heart/prayers goes out." How about this...here's the address for Sandy Hook Elementary School: 12 Dickenson Drive, Sandy Hook, CT 06482 Take five minutes tonight. Sit down with your kid. Write a letter. Draw a picture. Make a card. Send it to them. Tell them you're praying for them. Tell them you're so sorry they're hurting. Tell them you love them. Don't just SAY you love them on Facebook...LOVE them for real. Make your love tangible.

I plan on doing this with my brother and sisters tomorrow. You should to.

59. Nail Polish Giveaway!!!!!!!!

A blog I follow is doing a giveaway and to get more entries I need to blog about it. So heres the link to said nail polish giveaway: http://ifeelpolished.blogspot.com/2012/12/giveaway-just-because.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+IFeelPolished+%28I+Feel+Polished%21%29

58. There's A Chip On My Shoulder And Its As Big As A Boulder

One more week of school this year. It's been super stressful. 3 presentations, three papers, and two exams. Plus other thing showing on in my head. Only thing keeping me sane right now is this and listening to musical soundtracks on spotify:

57. 'cause you only show up on the weekends and I drink up every word you're saying

This post is dedicated to an old High School friend of mine. Her name is Caitlin Timmins. If you haven't heard of her, you will soon and/or you already should. She is amazing and very talented. She is currently attending Berklee School of Music in Boston right now. Below is her new song titled Alcohol. Here are the lyrics:

You're kind of like alcohol
on my lips all night
making me feel just rig

ht
but in the morning I wonder why
I drank you at all

You're why I get to bed late
you know just how to be
to get the best of me
but you're always leaving me
with nothing but a headache

CHORUS:
'cause you only show up on the weekends
and I drink up every word you're saying
then I give up 'cause you always get me wasted on you
but pretty soon you'll be gone...

You're like a tall martini
the way you warm me up
you can make me blush,
but you're never enough
of what I need

(CHORUS)

'cause you're kind of like alcohol
on my lips all night
making me feel alright
but in the morning I wonder why

I drank you at all

56. Finals are Horrible and This doesn't help

Stress.

Consuming all of us more than usual around this time of year. Especially me. I am possible failing a class and I don't really have anyone that will make me feel better about it. It sucks. I told myself this semester would be different. I'm glad it's almost over. The only thing I can stand doing right now is my nails. So I will continue to destress with it as much as possible.

God, please guide me.

55. WHY THE HELL AM I STILL AWAKE ?!?!?!?!?!

I don't know but I just can't fall asleep for the life of me. Catching up on ANTM doesn't help either. Jut staring at this now.

54. It's not the best, but it'll do.

Today has been a really bad day. And I'm struggling and trying to get through. I did my nails to make myself feel a bit better and like I said they're not the greatest, but it'll do.

53. The Ever Growing Nail Polish Collection....

Here it is:

34 so far. And counting.

52. Long time, no see everyone....

Well, welcome back to me. As you can see, my attempt to do a post everyday for a year straight didnt work so well. But, I want to try again or at least blog more often to let out my feelings or share things with you all and what not. This is who I am. I like it. On to the post:

I want to share with you guys some purchases I made on Black Friday. Its Nail Polish. I recently have become enthralled at painting my nails and getting new nail polish. Its artistic and fun and time consuming!! Anyways, I purchased 4 polishes from Walmart: Wet n' Wild's French White Creme and Sinful Colors Let's Talk (purple), Sugar Sugar (red), and Out of this World (silver). The last two are on my toes currently.

At Sally Beauty Supply I purchased China Glaze's Reggae to Riches and Orly's Royal Velvet which is on my hands right now.

51. Target: The Land of Amazing Deals and Really Tempting Things

I got hired at Target. Yay I have a job. It actually pays really well. It is an overnight shift but theatre has prepared me well for that. I am really excited to get to work for such an awesome store. I am also looking forward to being able to save decent amount of money for school. And the ten percent discount doesn't hurt either.

50. Meet Caitlin Timmins!!!!

Hello Everyone that reads my blog. If its a small group or if its a lot. This post is dedicated to an amazing singer who I graduated High School with. Her name is Caitlin Timmins. She has a phenomenal voice and is currently attending Berklee School of Music in Boston. Her music has definitely made my day several times. She is currently in a cover contest for Sara Bareilles and I want to help her out.Click on this link Here to vote for her. Give her five points, tweet, and or like it. I will also post the video below. You do not want to miss this :D

Caitlin Timmins Everyone!!

49. You know that feeling you get when you're standing in a high place with a sudden urge to jump?

Thats I'd a quote from little brothers favorite movie, the fourth pirates of the Caribbean. I love the little man and despite the fact that he is pretty annoying sometimes, he is still my little brother and I will always love him. He also can make you laugh a lot when you are down which is pretty good.
Anyways, if you ever have this feeling, whether the high place be a really good opportunity or literally in a really high place, don't jump. Don't give up on something good. It could make the biggest difference in the world.

48. Severe Thunderstorm Warning For Madison....

I hate storms. I will always hate them. Right now I'm trying to make myself feel better by doing this and watching storage wars.

47. Loving lounging around and all but....

I am glad to be home. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy all of it. I've filled out and submitted at least 20 job applications, sent out my resume, had two interviews, and still no job. The best part of summer so far was getting to babysit this little guy:

46. May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor

So very early this morning due to insomnia, I finished The Hunger Games Trilogy.

The ending to Mockingjay was not what I expected, but I enjoyed it. I am super pumped for the movie to come out on Friday. Being a bookworm, I read this series in total of five days. I love Katniss and her epic qualities and only dream that I have friends or a husband that end up being at least half of what Peeta and Gale are.

Seairra

45. Long Time No See (Post-Spring Break and Realization Time)

Hey there.

I know its been a long time, but its my blog and Ive had things keeping my busy and distracted.

Im back and I want to keep it that way.

Just got back form Spring Break and starting with school and rehearsals up the wazoo but Im happy. I love theatre and its my place to bee. Over break I got to see a lot of family, swim, and read the hunger Games, which are amazeballs and winning and so many other words that I cant think of. And I had this amazing view:

And I got to think about life. Where I am and where I want to be.. It was good. Now back in to the swing of things.

I will be making up for lost time as much as I can. I set out to do this and I am not going to fail. It just isnt an option. The only option is to WIN. :D

Seairra

44. Missing You Already

November 3^rd – Today me and my mom dropped the older of my two younger sisters back off at her dorm and then we went to my grandmas to have lunch. I thought it might be awkward but it was actually kind of nice. Yes I had to see all of my grandpa’s stuff and the pictures from his funeral, but to be able to spend time with my grandma and not see her emotion all that much was nice. She also showed me a couple of pictures from the day before he passed away. Although I didn’t say it to anyone, it was really hard to see them. He looked so beaten up and hurting that I wished I could have been there. Then I thought that it was probably better that way so that my last memory of actually seeing him was when he was happy and healthy at my sister’s graduation party and no big problems were noticeable.

43. Till We Meet Again

November 2^nd – Not much for today. Today was the funeral for my grandfather. It was really hard to see my grandma and my mother get so emotional. Even my little brother who I held during the service said his eyes were watering and I just didn’t know what to do. There were so many people that I didn’t know but just knowing that they all knew my grandpa and were able to come was amazing. I didn’t realize how stressful this all was until I got home. I ended up going to bed at 7:30 that night before anyone else was awake. Besides my mother, I am probably the one in my family that gets the most emotional, but today, I actually cried the least because I think I was trying to stay strong for my mother and my grandma. I felt so vulnerable that I didn’t want others to try and ask me if I was okay. I guess I just wanted to stay in my bubble.

42. Im Going Home To The Place Where I Belong

November 1^st – Today I headed home. It was really weird to leave school for something other than a break but I needed it. During the day I focused on getting thing packed and talking with professors about why I was leaving. I was having a really hard time figuring out what I need to bring home and what I was going to leave behind while I was there because I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate at home. It made me see that sometimes with directing, you don’t really know how something is going to turn out until you actually experience it and have to prepare for what comes afterwards. This was the first time ever that I experienced a death so close to me and I just couldn’t get over the fact that I couldn’t figure out what to do with myself even though all I had to do was throw some clothes in a suitcase. Right before I left to take the bus downtown, I went to gospel choir rehearsal and the touring ensemble held a prayer circle for me and another member who had lost her grandfather while on tour. It was really helpful. It was nice to know that despite these people not being family and possibly not know how I’m feeling, to be able to say the exact right things I needed to hear. I have faith that it was God. I don’t know who else could have helped this much. He’s just one big director knowing how to put pieces of a life back together once ones world has been turned upside down.