This is long overdue. I just want to say this all at once and in one place so I don’t have to go searching for bits and pieces. I want to say that there have been times when I’ve hurt someone and not apologized for it. There have been times where I have made others feel bad by begging them to hang out with me and then getting pissed at them when they can’t. I have tried to hear what everyone’s talking about so I can be invited or notified of get-togethers or parties and then relying on rides from them without anything in return(which I truly am sorry for, I haven’t been able to get my license yet and I don’t have a ton of money to help pay for gas). I have talked about people behind their backs with other friends just so those friends like me more. I have treated siblings bad because I’m trying to rest or relax from a long day or rehearsal. I’ve complained on Facebook statuses or notes about how I feel like crap and I have no friends when I truly, truly do, otherwise they wouldn’t put up with me. I am truly sorry for this. I’ve realized in the past couple of weeks that dwelling in the non-positive is just not good. I want to try to more happy and find the positive in everything. It makes my day so much better when I do this. I also want to start something. I want to try this thing where for an entire year, 365 days, I take a picture of something that made me happy in that day and make a post about it. I got this idea from a (hopefully) new friend of mine named James who started this last year. Reading his posts about this subject are just inspiring and I can’t stop thinking about it. So its done. I am doing it. I am sorry for things Ive done or said. Time for the happiness
:D
(And Dancing to Gaga
:D )
4 comments:
http://m.facebook.com/?w2m&_rdr#!/note.php?note_id=58424106833&refid=0
I dont understand, it just takes me to a weird version of the facebook homepage?
(I'll just post the text then.)
A Letter
Friend,
I write to you tonight not because I hope for a response, but again because I hope you'll listen.
You will invariably be let down. In some form, many times, by many different things. People will forget about you. They will judge you. They'll tell others their judgments, to which you can only hope to be given a chance to overcome. Preconceived notions are the hardest to break.
People will dislike you for no reason at all. Or they just won't tell you what the reason is. Sometimes, the dislike will stem from something you actually have done wrong. Other times, it won't. Either way, it will cause tension. Sometimes, this tension will be unbearable. It will be unspoken -- and in that silence, it will be deafening. You won't be able to hear anything else.
At some point, you might start to think that everything is somehow your fault. You will blame yourself for the let downs, the judgments, the tension. You will wonder how you can fix it. There will probably be a time where you would do anything to make it better, just so that you can feel less anxious.
What you need to know is that, even if parts of it are your fault, you cannot let yourself take the entire blame. Other people have choices to make, too. You cannot control that. We cannot control others' thoughts or actions. We can only control how we act, but sometimes, we're not conscious of that, either.
Because, what we all don't realize sometimes is we will all invariably let someone down. In many ways. You'll forget people. You'll judge people. You'll tell someone else your judgment.
You will dislike someone for no reason at all. Or you just won't tell them why. Sometimes, you will dislike someone because they actually hurt you. Sometimes, it will be for a trivial and irrational reason. Either way, this will cause tension. And sometimes, that tension will be unbearable and deafening.
And through all of this -- this intriguing and broken parallel -- we can realize that we are all the same. We might like different things. We might be good at different things. On the surface, we all appear very different. But deep down -- in our core -- we are all human. We all make mistakes. We hurt one another. We forget each other. We're selfish and ignorant and, in turn, broken.
From these thoughts, though, comes a question. One that I hope that someday I will know the answer to.
Even though I can put all of this down on the page -- understanding the possibilities of these things -- why does it still hurt?
- Colin
Oh yes, I still have this in my facebook messages. Dont worry.
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